I certainly do not claim to be an expert on marriage! However, I can offer a few suggestions about what has worked for us. Let me give you a little history before we jump in!
Paul and I have been married 24 years. He is seven years older than me. We married when I was 28 and he was 35. Paul had been married before and had custody of his then, 7 year old son. I became an instant “mom.” Step parenting is an entire other subject I’d be happy to discuss at another time. (If you’d like a post about step parenting, leave me a message in the comment section below).
Ok, here are 5 tips that I believe has helped our marriage.
1. I’m sure you’ve heard “never go to bed angry.” I 100% disagree with this! There were many nights that we stayed up very late trying to work out something and we were tired, irritated and not thinking clearly. We have found that if it is late, agree to discuss it the next day at a set time and follow through with that. It’s amazing how sleep and prayer can bring a fresh perspective in the morning!
2. Men need to feel respected, so respect your husband. He may not be acting in a way that deserves your respect, but do it any way (except in cases of abuse). Men usually rise up and begin acted the way they are being treated. I know this isn’t easy, but it has helped in our marriage. * book recommendation: Love & Respect click here: https://amzn.to/2JjeBEL
3. Praise your husband in public. Whenever possible, take the opportunity to speak well of him, brag on him and compliment him publicly.
4. Discover what his “love language” is and speak it often. There are 5 different love languages, if you are unfamiliar with this, here is a book describing it: https://amzn.to/2JggP7M Or if you would like to take the quiz to find out, click here: https://www.5lovelanguages.com/quizzes/
5. If you need counseling, get it. There has been several seasons in our marriage that required counseling. There is no shame in that at all. I definitely recommend Christian Counseling. (If you are in the Baton Rouge area, I’d love to recommend a place). We have fought hard to make our marriage work, and were willing to go, pay, and seriously work on the things that were recommended. I’ll also add, if you think you and your husband need counseling but he refuses to go, you go without him. I believe it can be beneficial even without him (not ideal, but still beneficial).
